Amazing Grace, How Sweet The Sound?
Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost, but now I’m found,
Was blind but now I see.
My relationship with this song is unique because of my role as a music therapist, and has changed throughout the years.
This song is probably the most popular hymn of all time, but why is that so?
I grew up hearing this song in church, but for me personally, “Amazing Grace” never took pride of place as a particularly special or meaningful song. There are still parts of the song that challenge me. I don’t consider myself to be a “wretch.” It seems like a strong word to use to describe an imperfect person (which I definitely am- I have no problem admitting that!)
My initial clinical training as a music therapist took place in the American South, in Alabama. I was right in the middle of the Bible Belt. This meant that when I began my clinical work in hospice care, a great percentage of my clients were Christians, and often requested hymns. “Amazing Grace” was the most frequently requested of them all.
As a new professional, I grew to resent that song. It didn’t start that way, but before long, I wearied of playing it. I got tired of singing “a wretch like me” multiple times a day. (I am not a wretch!!) I found myself adding in extra musical elements to keep myself interested and engaged- modulating up to a higher key between verses, varying my finger picking pattern, adding vocal flourishes and riffs. But there is only so much of this that I could throw in before making my performance of the song utterly ridiculous. My personal rendition of “Amazing Grace” became solidified into something quite masterful (owing to an extensive amount of practice), yet I hated playing this song.
Over time, however, something shifted. I felt my disdain for this song decrease. I felt myself opening up to it. What sparked the change?
It was seeing my clients’ responses to the song. Seeing the comfort it brought them in a difficult time. Seeing the words, well engrained into their memories from a lifetime of singing, spring from their lips. Seeing them come to life. I also heard my client’s words of peace, gratefulness, and comfort. I heard their voices (many of whom haven’t sung in years) join mine in a moment of pure human connection. I began to recognize that we were achieving true I-Thou experiences, in which we were both able to be fully present as our authentic selves, together, in deep attunement with one another.
It wasn’t so much the lyrics of the song that made the song special to me. It was understanding how meaningful it was to my clients that made it more meaningful to me.
It is fitting that the lyrics of “Amazing Grace” tell the story of my evolving relationship with the song. I was once blind, but now I see.
To my fellow music therapists reading this: Do you have any songs like this? Are there any songs that you struggle to find value in? What about songs that don’t have much personal meaning to you, but have become meaningful through your work with your clients? I would love to hear your stories in the comments!
